December 21st 2011 – Christmas Special

At this time of year it is traditional to peer into the future to see what the New Year might bring, but, like you dear reader, I haven’t got a clue so here are some random quotes I have come across over the past year that I hope you will enjoy instead.

Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a parliament. John Adams

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. G. Gordon Liddy

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. James Bovard

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened. Sir Winston Churchill

Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true and it will sound like it’s from Neptune. Noam Chomsky

If you don’t trust gold, do you trust the logic of taking a pine tree, worth $4,000-$5,000, cutting it up, turning it into pulp, putting some ink on it and then calling it one billion dollars? Kenneth J Gerbino

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labours of the people under the pretence of taking care of them. Thomas Jefferson

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers

Some little known Zen teachings
• No one is listening until you pass wind.
• Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

And finally – “The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it’s difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine” Abraham Lincoln

A very Merry Christmas to all of you who have put up with my diatribes during 2011 and may you continue to do so and prosper, but not necessarily as a result, in 2012.